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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Trey's LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 27th, 2010
2:12 pm
Writer's Block: Breaking the food chain
Which one food would you choose to ban from existence, and why?
Barbecue beef butterscotch milkshakes.

Not as good as you'd hope, not as bad as you'd expect...
Sunday, September 26th, 2010
9:36 pm
For the Math nerds...
What do you get if you divide the Circumference of a pumpkin by twice its radius?

Answer here...Collapse )
Friday, September 17th, 2010
5:24 pm
Footprints on the beach...
"But Lord, during the hardest trials of my life, why was there only one set of footprints?"

"Because," said the Lord, "Sandpeople always ride single-file, to hide their numbers."
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
12:42 pm
Is it wrong that I totally want to lie down on this nice, soft (hard), cleanish(very dirty) concrete floor for a nap? Do you think the client would mind???

Posted via Journaler.

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010
3:03 pm

I declare today to be "Idiots with spyware" day.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

3:03 pm

I declare today to be "Idiots with spyware" day.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Thursday, December 17th, 2009
10:57 am
Letter to Santa!
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last week I helped allah_sulu halfway across the street (6 points). In November I pulled gmp's hair (-5 points). Last Sunday everraven and I robbed a bank (-50 points). In July I gave sethcohen a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). Last Monday I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-1066 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
12:39 am
Brain Disease
Had to share.

Sunday, August 30th, 2009
10:55 am
Happy B'day to me!
Yay. I didn't die again this year. 35 down, 55 to go...

Current Mood: Old
Monday, July 27th, 2009
11:03 pm
Found on the LO site....
Obama and Healthcare... (long quote from Sorronn)

Obama and AMA... a tale...
The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new healthcare plan.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

And that is how Washington made health care.
12:32 pm
Dealing with clients...
Is it wrong how true to life this video is?

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
11:31 pm
Had to share.
Funniest who's line ever??

Thursday, June 11th, 2009
9:50 am
I'm billing time...

While I surf the You Tube...
I'm billing time.
When I'm sitting here waiting to call you,
I'm billing time...
Thursday, May 28th, 2009
2:33 pm
Came to an interesting realization today.

I don't care.
I care that I don't care.
But, I don't care that I don't care enough to actually care.
(Parsing help: I don't care that (I don't care) enough to actually !(I don't care)...)
Of course, I _do_ care enough to post about not caring enough about not caring to actually care.

I could go on, but do you care to read more about me caring about not caring to care about caring?

Didn't think so.

As if you care.
Sunday, May 17th, 2009
12:41 am
Had this running through my head for most of the past few days...

Thursday, April 30th, 2009
8:07 pm
cat pants

(yes, that's Simon, curled up in my pants)
Friday, April 24th, 2009
9:04 am
I have a (in-tune) dream...

From the same people who brought you the news

Current Mood: In Tune
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
6:37 pm
Writer's Block: The Green Generation
Will you be doing anything special to celebrate Earth Day today?

Visiting Earth... at least briefly, before it's destroyed for an interstellar bypass.
Monday, April 20th, 2009
6:06 pm
Old PC Rock Fest...

Now, if they'd just do a cover of "Smells like Teen Spirit", it'd be Nerdvana...
Thursday, April 16th, 2009
10:28 pm
Electric Fence

We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me; I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest Cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence.

I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day while mowing the back yard with my cheapo Walmart 6hp Big Wheel Push mower; the hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says one cannot crap, pee, and get a nut at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go.

I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences ... But Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 Volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think, 'Oh God, please let me die... Pleeeeze die'.

But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day... He left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it.

I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek
(not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might first think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

8- I can turn on the TV in the gameroom by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still dont understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

Current Mood: shocked
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